perception & icebergs.

(for a better reading experience, pop this blog up on your desk/laptop & grab a snack & come on back.. cause i’m bout to spit some truth.)

in my next 13 years, i hope that the man i will someday choose to love will see and accept me not for my curse, but as a blessing. i don’t want to be seen as my illness & i’ve also learned that i do not need verbal validation how sick i am or have been, yet pretend to be a normal functioning human all at the same time. i want to be seen as a wife, with a compassion for serving others, with kids at my dinner table, in a house that i own, with a dog sitting next to my front porch swing. i want to cross a thousand finish lines without raising money to find a cure for a disease that will be in full Remission, with hopes of being so much closer to a better quality of life with this illness. my hope is that in my lifetime, i will see better therapies, better care & more compassion to those living with illness – both visible and not so visible. i want to be healthy enough to take care of my family, be able to conceive children if God has this in His plan for me and i want my life to be more meaningful, grateful and full of.. well, life.

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something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor. – marianne williamson

for information regarding extraintestinal manifestions, visit:
Very Well -What Are the Extra-Intestinal Complications of Crohn’s Disease?

http://online.ccfa.org/site/DocServer/Kim.pdf?docID=25687 

#purpleproject runs the Vegas strip at night!

since i have had so much support & love from all of you in the past, id like to let you in on a (not so) little secret – in november, i will be running my next 1/2 marathon with CCFA Team Challenge – raising funds each mile i train (with Charity Miles) & also with a goal in mind of raising $4,142 – to represent the number of days that i will have been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.

training for any endurance event with a chronic illness gives patients an exciting form of anxiety. the last few events ive trained for, they werent under the best circumstances (separated shoulder, Crohn’s flare/rectal surgery & raging arthritis) but i overcame them & was able to still finish last years Chicago half-marathon, meeting a crazy ton of you all who follow this, my IG account or my Facebook page. since then, i have “met” SO many people that i will meet up with in Vegas in November & i could not be more thrilled to be running with & next to the most dedicated, hopeful people i call teammates. how lucky am i??

there are moments with autoimmune disease youre not sure if youll make it another day. since we dont get to pick and choose when those days, weeks or months will pop up, ill keep fighting for the good days – so one day this disease is not used in the present tense when we talk about it & educate others.

here is my link is you’d like to share. id love your help to exceed my goal: http://online.ccfa.org/goto/purpleprojectVegas15

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there will be much more to come in the next few months & id love to have your support through it all. follow me on my next TC half journey to Vegas by following the hashtags #purpleprojectrunsVegas & #onamissiontoRemission and yes, you may see a #runningtothebathroom here & there… because, Crohn’s.

tonsillectomies, adenoidectomies & suppositories! hooray!

first & foremost, drugs.   i wanted to give an update, considering all of the thoughtful emails, voicemails & texts im having a hard time reading. my nightly IBD meds make it hard to focus anyway, but when you add … Continue reading

april showers

its been nearly 5 months since ive wrote. ive started a few, but became quickly tired. honestly, i had good intent to finish.. but the handful of times i actually had time to sit down, i found myself rereading things i didnt feel anymore.

holidays have passed, awareness weeks, as well as seasons & unfortunately, some of our loved ones as well. it was a long winter, but i know good things are in store.

i have had ups & down, but this is the first March in a few years i didnt spend any weeks in the hospital. for this, i am extremely grateful. i DID spend a lot of time at different specialists & unfortunately i will be adding more members to my care team, but i believe this is the right direction. im pretty sure if us patients collected badges for every doctor visit we had, we would need multiple cub/girl scout uniforms to hold the number of badges we collected.

ive been having a rough go with my body adjusting to meds. ive tried acupuncture that has helped with nausea & vomiting, but found that i was spending more time arranging appointments, driving as well as the cost of the appointments.. it helped a lot, but also really, really irritated the neuropathy in my body & i found myself expending way too much energy trying to heal from my appts.

my body is tired & my eyes are misty. i feel weary about where my regimen will go in the future. my infusions are faring my stomach well for now, but i dont feel like i am where “should” be. i find myself recovering from meds my body needs much more than i am healing & finding a happy medium. what would be simple infections to most people have plagued my winter.

im excited for more projects than i can count on one hand. being invited to patient advocacy summits, seminars & being an ambassador for multiple non-profits i truly enjoy working with that make a great difference in the care that patients receive. im humbled to be asked to represent part of the patient community, and being able to share these projects so that this audience is able to participate in makes things worth the sweat! teamwork makes the dream work.

i look forward to writing more. i have been saving pennies purchase a nice computer that i can rely on to share valuable information.

my heart looks forward to so many things: racing, fundraising, being a patient advocate, meeting so many of the friends that have changed my life in amazing ways & traveling. also, shark week.

life is better in color. <3

life is better in color. ❤